diabola in musica

because perfection isn't easy

Anne got herself to her room, sat down on her window seat behind the pines, and cried bitterly. She felt as if something incalculably precious had gone out of her life. It was Gilbert’s friendship, of course. Oh, why must she lose it after this fashion?

“What is the matter, honey?” asked Phil, coming in through the moonlit gloom.

Anne did not answer. At that moment she wished Phil were a thousand miles away.

“I suppose you’ve gone and refused Gilbert Blythe. You are an idiot, Anne Shirley!”

“Do you call it idiotic to refuse to marry a man I don’t love?” said Anne coldly, goaded to reply.

“You don’t know love when you see it. You’ve tricked something out with your imagination that you think love, and you expect the real thing to look like that. There, that’s the first sensible thing I’ve ever said in my life. I wonder how I managed it?”

“Phil,” pleaded Anne, “please go away and leave me alone for a little while. My world has tumbled into pieces. I want to reconstruct it.”

“Without any Gilbert in it?” said Phil, going.

A world without any Gilbert in it! Anne repeated the words drearily. Would it not be a very lonely, forlorn place? Well, it was all Gilbert’s fault. He had spoiled their beautiful comradeship. She must just learn to live without it.

Somebody loves you if they don’t mind the quiet. They don’t mind running errands with you or cleaning your apartment while blasting some annoying music. There’s no pressure, no need to fill the silences. You know how with some of your friends there needs to be some sort of activity for you to hang out? You don’t feel comfortable just shooting the shit and watching bad reality TV with them. You need something that will keep the both of you busy to ensure there won’t be a void. That’s not love. That’s “hey babe! i like you okay. do you wanna grab lunch? i think we have enough to talk about to fill two hours!” It’s a damn dream when you find someone you can do nothing with. Whether you’re skydiving together or sitting at home and doing different things, it’s always comfortable. That is fucking love.

In Those Years

 “Untitled (Perfect Lovers)”, Felix Gonzalez-Torres

I had missed this post the first time it made its rounds, but when the piece showed up on the radar again, I took notice for its poignant message on love and relationships. There were many comments on the synchronicity of two persons in love, ranging from disavowal of close similarity to pragmatic acknowledgement of love’s imperfections.

A most interesting comment is made at Greg.org. Discussing a homage to the sculpture, Greg reveals a more complex history of the piece:

And at the time of Felix’s death, a 1987 work [officially listed as “additional material,” not work] titled Perfect Lovers, was in the collection of his former partner Jorge Colazzo. It consists of a pair of wall clocks, signed, titled, and numbered, “1/3”.

Knowing that Felix made Perfect Lover clocks for all his boyfriends [sic] throws a layer of complexity onto the typically poignant interpretation of the work: yes, they’re identical and in sync (for now), but they’re also mass produced. And replaceable. You can pick one up at the corner.

This, too, is another fact of life. Many of us have experienced the cycle of love and heartbreak more than once. Though the details of each relationship are different, that initial flare of excitement and the eventual drift apart are similar outlines to every story. But it is not unromantic to have more than one brilliant, beautiful love. Though those clocks may look the same, performing the exact same function, they are still individual, invisibly unique. Love may be replaceable, but the lover is not.

I fall in love about every other week. Many times our clocks drift apart after one night, but some tick in sync for weeks and months. Sometimes, I wonder, if I were more careful in re-syncing, maybe, magically, they could last for years.